Dear friends, 
In June 2011, my days suddenly went dark. I lost the love of my life, the father of my children. I thought I was going to die, too. I thought to myself “maybe this is how it feels when the world ends”.

Overwhelmed with confusion, deep sadness, anger, It felt like someone just dropped a huge bri . . . . .

I still remember the first time I stepped into the house after the funeral. I opened the front door and was hesitant to go into our family room. It was different. It was unusual. It was empty.

Although for the following thirty days after my husband passed away, there were always . . . . .

Last month I found this plan in my bible app titled “gradual goodbye” by Welby O’Brien. When I read it, it took me back to what our family had to fight through up to last year. The lost of our dad has made this part, ”the gradual goodbye”, felt insignificant, hidden, and buried deep under; but in fact it is not, the messy middle between the start and the end of something is where . . . . .

Love, a four lettered word that sound so simple yet so complicated.
It’s one of the hardest concepts that I have to face and struggle with in life, yet.

Growing up, this is my understanding of love.
If you do as expected or more, then you are loved.
If you do . . . . .

When I became a Mom, I loved my Mother more, I understood my Mother more, I honored my Mother more, I kissed her more and hugged her more. In my quiet time with God, I always remember my Mom, who is now 86 years old, with so much love and thanksgiving. To me, Mothers are a tremendous gift from God.


"A Pearl is a beautiful thing that is produced by an inju . . . . .