Last month I found this plan in my bible app titled “gradual goodbye” by Welby O’Brien. When I read it, it took me back to what our family had to fight through up to last year. The lost of our dad has made this part, ”the gradual goodbye”, felt insignificant, hidden, and buried deep under; but in fact it is not, the messy middle between the start and the end of something is where . . . . .

When I became a Mom, I loved my Mother more, I understood my Mother more, I honored my Mother more, I kissed her more and hugged her more. In my quiet time with God, I always remember my Mom, who is now 86 years old, with so much love and thanksgiving. To me, Mothers are a tremendous gift from God.


"A Pearl is a beautiful thing that is produced by an inju . . . . .

Perspective changes everything.

This has become a common theme of my life in the past few months. I learned that the way I see things changes things. Of course, the things don’t change just because I look at it in a different way. A blue T-shirt is still a blue T-shirt, no matter which angle I choose to stare at it from. An illness is still something to be healed from, a . . . . .

I questioned God, "How can I raise them alone?" right on the first day of my grieving journey. I mourned not only for the death of my beloved husband but also for my children's days ahead. I was drained to empty and had nothing left to offer. I was clueless and did not know what to do. I bargained, plead, and asked God to somehow give me a vision of the days ahead.

The . . . . .

I tried to be one
I thought I had to be one
It was exhausting
Losing my mind
Losing my joy