“If you can't fly then run,
if you can't run then walk,
if you can't walk then crawl,
but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.

Dear you who are tired, 

Those days are still crystal clear in my mind. The days when I wished the earth could pause for a little bit. Wait, let me catch a breath, is this for r . . . . .

Dear the desperate soul,
You are here and your heart is heavy. You have questions and are looking for an assurance. Your heart is restless and you feel like at the end of the rope. When my world suddenly crumbled before my eyes, I was desperate and looking for an answer, looking for God to answer me.

I still remember the first time I stepped into the house after the funeral. I opened the front door and was hesitant to go into our family room. It was different. It was unusual. It was empty.

Although for the following thirty days after my husband passed away, there were always . . . . .

“When things don't go the way you want them to,
sometimes instead of feeling disappointment or heartache,
you just become numb.” 
― April Mae Monterrosa

The day I lost my husband, I cried myself to everything.
I cried and cried and cried until . . . . .

Last month I found this plan in my bible app titled “gradual goodbye” by Welby O’Brien. When I read it, it took me back to what our family had to fight through up to last year. The lost of our dad has made this part, ”the gradual goodbye”, felt insignificant, hidden, and buried deep under; but in fact it is not, the messy middle between the start and the end of something is where . . . . .