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A Letter to my Married Friends

22 June, 2021

Dear my married friends,

One day, a dear friend asked me a question “What would be your best advice for your married friends?”

It has been years since the passing of my late husband. It has been years since I knew how it feels to be married. It was quite painful to think about marriage during the first few years after losing him because I’ve always dreamed of being married and raising my children in a healthy and happy family. So when the dream was shattered, every thought about marriage came with a deep pain.

But surprisingly, as my heart was being healed, God started to send people who need direction in their current and future marriage. It was not easy in the beginning because every marriage advice I got asked has a memory and somewhat a degree of woulda, shoulda, and coulda attached to it.

I still remember that day when I asked God to give me another chance to be with my late husband. I told myself, I don’t care if he’s annoying and can be irritating at times, I don’t care if there is a lot of differences and disagreement between us, I don’t care if he’s wrong or I’m wrong, I don’t care who wins the argument, I don't care if we have enough money or not, I don’t care about whose turn to do the laundry, run the errands, clean the house and those tiny issues between us. I remember begging God with one request, “Can I just have another chance?”

So what if I were given a second chance? 
The first thing I would tell him “Let’s start all over again”. 

Let’s forget our differences.
Let’s set aside those disagreements.
Let’s come back to point 0, where it was just you, me and God.
Let’s erase those scores on the board.
Let’s walk side by side again.
Let’s trust each other again.
Let’s have faith toward each other again.
Let’s dream big and bigger again.
Let’s laugh at those silly & stupid mistakes.
Let’s cover each other’s flaws.
Let’s talk about it.
Let’s see each other again.
Let’s surprise each other again.
Let’s sit next to each other again.
Let’s sing together again.

Let's admit our mistakes.
Let's embrace the journey.
Let’s live. Let’s love. Let’s give. Let’s serve.
Let’s forgive. Let’s forget.
Let's lean on grace.
Let’s start all over again.

Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. -Zig Ziglar 

A dear friend recently asked me, 
“What would be your best advice for your married friends?” 
My answer would be “Have the courage to start all over again”

I don't know about your situation. You might be newlyweds. You might have just taken a new role as parents and somehow your marriage is a little bit unnourished. You might be in a bad place right now and simply don't know what else to do with your marriage. You might be praying for a way out or for a second chance.

Friends, have the courage. It might feel & seem scary but I think it is worth fighting for. Remember the reasons why you chose each other. Remember the reasons you decided to be together in the first place. There is still love. There is still hope. There is always a start over. Will you start all over again?

With love,

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Written by
Felecia Wong

Felecia Wong is a widow, single mother of three, counselor, writer and entrepreneur. She is devoted . . . .

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