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A Letter to my Fellow Raisers of Fatherless Children

19 June, 2021

Dear my fellow raisers of fatherless children,

The days haven’t been easy, in fact sometimes it feels like the days are getting harder. There are days when you wish your husband was around to take the role of a dad for your children. There are days when you worry and wonder how the kids are going to turn out without the presence of a dad. Let me share a short story that touched my heart deeply.


The setting for this particular story is one of my favorite places, Gatlinburg, Tennessee, where a seminary professor was vacationing with his wife. While having breakfast one morning the couple noticed a very distinguished looking man moving from table to table as he visited with the guests.

Being on vacation, it was the professor’s first impulse to hope that the man would not stop at his table and interrupt their breakfast but as luck would have it, he did just that.

“Where are you folks from?”
“Oklahoma,” they answered. 
“Great to have you here in Tennessee,” the man said.
“What do you do for a living?” The man answered that he taught at a seminary. 
“So you teach preachers how to preach. Well, I have a great story for you,” and the man pulled up a chair and sat down at the couple’s table.

Now if you’ve ever been in Gatlinburg, you know that it is surrounded by the Smokies, and the man said, “See that mountain over there?” Not far from the base of that mountain there was a boy born to an unwed mother. “He had a hard time growing up because everywhere he went he was always asked the same question. ‘Who’s your daddy?’” The little boy would hide from the other students at recess and at lunch time; he would avoid going into stores because that question always followed him, “Hey, boy, who’s your daddy?”

When he was about twelve years old, his church hired a new preacher. The boy would come in late and slip out early to avoid the question. One day the new preacher said the benediction so fast that the boy was caught and had to walk out with the crowd. Sure enough, as the boy walked by the preacher, he put his hand on his shoulder and said, “Who’s your daddy, son?” The whole church became quiet and the boy could feel every eye looking at him. Finally, everyone would hear the answer to the awful question. Thankfully, the preacher sensed something was wrong and with kindness turned to the scared little boy and said, “Wait a minute! I know who you are because I can see the family resemblance now. You are a child of God!” The preacher patted the boy’s shoulder and said, “Boy, you’ve got a great inheritance. Go and claim it.” With that, the boy smiled for the first time in a long time and walked out the door a changed person.

From then on he answered the question by saying, “I am a child of God.” With that the distinguished man stood up from the table and said, “You know, if that new preacher hadn’t told me that I was one of God’s children I probably never would have amounted to anything.” And he walked away.

The professor and his wife were stunned. They called their waitress and asked her if she knew the man who had just left their table. “Of course. Everyone here knows him. That’s Ben Hooper, the governor of Tennessee.”


"Who is your daddy?”

A Question I am most afraid to hear
A Question I am most afraid for my children to hear 

A Question we have to answer with heavy emotion and hidden tears
A Question every single mother wishes to avoid.

A Question that stings

During the early days, one thing that I kept reassuring my children with was your earthly daddy is now in Heaven, so you have 2 dads in Heaven. But since you are still living on earth, you have to know that you still have an earthly Dad, God Himself who loves you more than daddy and mommy can ever love you and who is with you in every single moment. He will help you whenever you need help. Isn't that awesome?

As beautiful as they are the truth, making those statements was hard and painful. I still wish they had their daddy around to love them, to help them understand the heart of God, to share stories with them, to teach them how to drive, to show them how to live, to protect them from dangers, to walk them down the aisle. Many times, I had to say them with a shaken voice and tears.

So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. 
Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children.

Now we call him, “Abba, Father.”
For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children. 
And since we are his children, we are his heirs. 
In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. 
But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering.
Romans 8

It has been 10 years and I have seen with my eyes how my children have been raised by God, I have witnessed with my whole being how God can put together a shattered heart, I have tasted how Grace can grow muscles in a broken heart. The way God raised each of my three children is beyond imagination, beyond my request. He raises them well and fully provided.

And now, the questions "Who is your daddy? So, which one is your dad?” no longer sting (well maybe it still stings just a little bit). We can answer them calmly and with confidence because we know no matter what, my fatherless children will always have a Dad, a Father,  a Heavenly Father who is always around and always has our back. 

My fellow single mamas, continue to point your children to their Father in Heaven and remind them that He has been faithful and will continue be because God is indeed a promise keeper. 
I pray that God will continue to enlarge your heart and give you the strength to trust God’s promise, to believe that your children are His, and to raise your children with confidence knowing that God, the Maker of Heaven and Earth is the FATHER OF YOUR CHILDREN. I pray that your heart will always be at peace.

With love,

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Written by
Felecia Wong

Felecia Wong is a widow, single mother of three, counselor, writer and entrepreneur. She is devoted . . . .

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